Deep stuff. I know a woman whose mind is not quite there. Somehow, someway though … she can worry. She can grab a hold of one subject and she can think about it and think about it and think about it until she can’t think about nothing else. Obsessing.
In this manner, she feels important. Why? It literally gives her something to do with her time other than read and watch TV. She’s an older person who doesn’t have anything to do. She used to be vibrant and participated in society and she used to feel meaningful and significant. Now she only feels old and decrepit. The other day she said she missed feeling productive. She missed feeling as if she mattered. Deep stuff.
It dawned on me that the reason she worries is because it gives her something that she feels is important to do. She misses accomplishing something that someone else praises her in or someone else needs done so that they can finish what they are doing… She misses working…fulfilling goals and wins. She worries about her family. She worries about America. She worries about money. The other day she was fixated on finding a book. She did not want to read these books out of order. It is a trilogy. She had already read number one but did not want to skip to number three. She wanted to read number two next. Because of her memory issues, you might want her to just read three and find two later – what does it really matter? Deep stuff.
But it matters to her. It’s her grasping onto a little bit of order- a sequence – similar to a child learning the numbering or lettering system – she’s remembering order. You teach a child one, two, three – not one, four, seven. She is enough with it in her mind sometimes that she remembers order and she remembers pieces of things that really do matter… At least to her. in that moment … Admittedly that ship may sail soon but right that second she felt “normal” and like she is accomplishing something that “matters”. Deep stuff.
I was thinking about children and how they feel safe when they know what is next…when they have order. They learn the “how to” set goals, accomplish vision, eat their vegetables, brush their teeth, sleep habit, reading habits – disciplines…early in life… setting the stage for how they grow and think.
Similarly, older ones who lived vibrant productive lives that have health issues sometimes find themselves doing nothing but watching tv, eating and reading. Their minds lose the ability of setting goals, accomplishing vision. They lose that part of themselves where found identity and usefulness. Deep stuff.
What is my point? Pay attention.
Pay attention to that person in front of you that seemingly has nothing to do. Because they might be doing something with your mind to help you see something through. Now I realize that worry is worship in a reversed kind of way. But I just wonder if God‘s graciousness and kindness sees it as prayer in his day. Again, deep stuff.
We can’t heal her mind though we would like to. We can only love her – We can’t change what has occurred. Loving that person who seems to have lost their way might be the most productive thing you do today.
So, I was pondering these things today about society as a whole…thinking of another friend who is in a similar way. Sitting. Waiting. Nothing to do. Nobody to talk to. Watching life pass her by. Grabbing hold of anything that makes her feel alive.
Growing older is not for wimps. But … Older people are just younger people with wrinkles.
In this Covid crisis aftermath, remember those who were locked away. Maybe that was you or me. Maybe you are still working out your life in isolation. Maybe nobody reaches into you because they are busy accomplishing their own life…
Inside – deep inside – listen close to Who resides. They can lead you with Grace to love that space. Deep Stuff.
